So I'm moving tomorrow. The mover will be here at 10.30 to get my stuff. I have an appointment at 10.00 to set up internet, which is impossible unless the guy's first appointments run long. I doubt they'll run more than an hour long, which is what I'll need if I'm to get to my apartment before him. If I don't, I won't have internet until Monday. What ever will I do!?
I packed two small boxes before tonight. I have to pack everything else...right now. I don't have much so it won't be a problem. The bulk of what I own is clothes, I think. That will be a pain because I won't want to fold them up properly or anything, since I'm essentially moving 10 minutes down the road.
Oh, I went to my place today, just to walk through it. It's really nice. At first glance, I like it better than my current apartment. My current apartment has 3 rooms: an entryway, a bathroom, and a main room where my bed and everything else is. My new place has a (very small) bedroom, in addition to everything else. The size difference between the two places is so small it doesn't matter, but it'll feel much bigger because my bed won't be in the middle of the "living room."
Two drawbacks I've already noticed, however, is that I'll be on the 2nd floor instead of the 3rd, and I'm on the corner of the building instead of the middle. Both of these things will contribute to a higher heating bill. Speaking of which, my heating (water and cooking included) for this past month was about $2.
I'm moving right across the alley from another coworker, who has been living there for about a month now. He has complained that it's difficult to find food after work, which as you know has been the bane of my existence until this semester when my schedule got lighter and I could take more meal breaks. Hopefully that issue won't plague me again. I have nothing to do tomorrow other than get settled and explore my new neighborhood, so I'll report back tomorrow what I find, along with some pictures.
P.S. They definitely took away our overtime, effective immediately. That means more free time, but less money. Isn't that the way of things? The ultimate conundrum: more money, or more free time? If I had more friends here I'd vote for the latter, but as it is I'll just spend more time on Xbox Live with some of you in America.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Cheong Gye Mountain
Topia organized a hike yesterday. It's a pretty popular thing to do, have your boss organize some outing and then them force you to do it regardless of what you already had planned or whatever. I wanted to go, so it didn't matter, and I don't think Topia did that yesterday, but Joy and Grace's mom both work at the same hospital, and their boss made them hike the same mountain as we did yesterday, what a coincidence. Anyway, I got some pictures, nothing very exciting because they mountain isn't very large, and the colors aren't fully colored yet. And, the few shots that would've turned out colorful I had to take facing the sun, so the shot is washed out anyway. Without further adodo (hehe, I said dodo, but not time for poop jokes), here are the pictures:
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| Cheong Gye Mountain |
Monday, October 19, 2009
My realization of my loss of happiness
Saturday was my real birthday celebration. I spent all afternoon with Grace, shopping for some winter shoes (which I didn't find and ended up having to buy online for twice what they're worth), eating, just hanging out in Seoul. After that she met a friend and I went back to Jukjeon and watched a movie with Joy (the girl I'm trying to date). The choices were Fame and District 9. I told her I knew nothing about either and didn't care. She didn't want to make the decision so I chose District 9 since it started earlier and we both had to be up early. This was on the phone, too, so I couldn't even look at the pictures of the movies. She did tell me District 9 was Peter Jackson, so I got excited, but then saw that he only produced it, not directed it. Anyway, I really enjoyed it because it was a very different alien movie, and I would totally review it right here if it were the right place to do so. She did not like it at all. It was much too violent for her.
About Joy. I met her 3 weeks ago with her church group on a Saturday. I then spent some time with her the next day, mostly at church or with church people. Then, that next Saturday (one week ago) she was at church from 9am to I think midnight. (You may be sensing a pattern). Sunday I was hungover and didn't wake until 4pm, but did manage to surprise her by showing up at the cafe she was at around 10pm. She had been in church until then. Saturday she was at church from 3pm-8pm, and yesterday she was at church from 8am-8pm, give-or-take. She is what I would call a "super church-girl."
Since I met her at church and all that, she probably assumes (or assumed) that I was the same way. That thought didn't occur to me until last week when I texted her to tell her I wouldn't be going to church. I was going to say I was sick, but then realized that if I said that she'd feel concerned and sorry, but if I were hungover she probably wouldn't, so I told her the truth expecting her to be repelled and to judge me. She didn't. I was pleasantly surprised and thought maybe there was some hope there.
We had an almost-date Saturday night at the movies, and afterwards I told her I wouldn't be at church the next day because I was going with my friend Heather to Palmi Island (see pictures here). She said that I hadn't been to church the previous week so I had to go that week. I began to lose hope that she would leave me be, and I never had much hope in explaining to her my reasons because I have enough difficulty with that with fluent speakers, let alone someone of lesser English abilities.
I then began to examine what I was doing. I wanted this relationship with a girl whose culture, language, and religious practice I did not share. In all likelihood I will be leaving in a little over 4 months, and it would not be good for either of us. But Joy made me happy. I began to question why, and the answer was simple; I was looking for happiness because I had lost it. When, where, and why I lost happiness I can't quite tell. I am inclined to say it was sometime since I moved to Korea, though it's just as likely that the move simply made it more obvious.
I realized that I've been looking for happiness in people. I look at every girl that walks past me in hopes that our eyes will meet and I will see in them some acknowledgement that I am attractive. I look at men and think to myself that the girls around us find me more attractive because I'm foreign and exotic. I try very hard to be invited to dinner with my coworkers. There are other examples, I am sure, but no more that quickly come to mind. It is all quite pathetic.
I have always found happiness in other people: in their presence, in their happiness, in their approval, in their laughter. Whether this is good or bad I have not yet analyzed, but the point is that I have never looked for happiness in others, I had always had it. Since I have moved here, however, I have had no one else to be with, to find affirmation in, to witness their pure happiness. I have been lonely: in spirit, in person, and in mind. This loneliness has only grown. At first it was my goal to live without internet in my house. This quickly fell because I "needed" it to call friends and family more conveniently. It was my goal to live without a cell phone, but I "needed" it to jump-start a social life here (it hasn't done too much good). I had not intended to buy an Xbox, but I "needed" it to stay in contact with the few friends I can on there. It was my goal not to accumulate things while here, but I "needed" a bike so I could have freedom of mobility. I bought my ebook reader to read books, sure, but I realized once I bought it that I was happier because while I was reading I wasn't living reality, where I was lonely.
I am not entirely sure of the cure. Of course people want to say that God is the answer, and depending upon what is meant I am likely to agree. But I want to know why I was happy before I came here. Was I really happy, or just not noticing that I wasn't because I had so many people around me? I believe the Christian life is made up of three relationships: our relationship to God, our relationship with others, and our relationship with ourselves. Our relationship with God might be broken down into communication (prayer) and obedience, which is borne out in our relationship with ourselves and others. This may or may not be true or helpful, but it is as I've come to see it. If it's true, then our relationship with others is very important. Humans are social creatures and need others, but the extant to which we need them, and who we need, are our sins. I believe I have desired people too much, and desired God and myself too little.
Believing as I do that going into a building that some call a "church" is not necessary to the Christian life, and that our emphasis on reading the Bible is ill-placed because not until the last 100-150 years have the Western public been able to easily and readily own their own Bible (not that it shouldn't be read, but it needn't be memorized, and time is much better spent in "doing"), my emphasis is on people (in all manner) and prayer, and in these I hope to please our God. And in these, I know I have not. But you see how I can so easily go from the idea of pleasing Him with my relationships with others, to pleasing myself with my relationships with others. And the neglecting of prayer is as simple as not doing it, and "none" are the wiser.
It is this tightrope that I thought I was so deftly walking, and have realized that I was not walking at all, but thrashing around on the ground some 30 feet below the rope with a broken neck, only furthering my injuring by my continual movement.
Some of you may be curious about Joy. So am I. I do not know what is going to happen. We are still on good terms, she is aware of none of these thoughts, and she is probably just thinking that I should've gone to church but didn't, oh well.
As a reminder, go here for the pictures of Palmi Island.
About Joy. I met her 3 weeks ago with her church group on a Saturday. I then spent some time with her the next day, mostly at church or with church people. Then, that next Saturday (one week ago) she was at church from 9am to I think midnight. (You may be sensing a pattern). Sunday I was hungover and didn't wake until 4pm, but did manage to surprise her by showing up at the cafe she was at around 10pm. She had been in church until then. Saturday she was at church from 3pm-8pm, and yesterday she was at church from 8am-8pm, give-or-take. She is what I would call a "super church-girl."
Since I met her at church and all that, she probably assumes (or assumed) that I was the same way. That thought didn't occur to me until last week when I texted her to tell her I wouldn't be going to church. I was going to say I was sick, but then realized that if I said that she'd feel concerned and sorry, but if I were hungover she probably wouldn't, so I told her the truth expecting her to be repelled and to judge me. She didn't. I was pleasantly surprised and thought maybe there was some hope there.
We had an almost-date Saturday night at the movies, and afterwards I told her I wouldn't be at church the next day because I was going with my friend Heather to Palmi Island (see pictures here). She said that I hadn't been to church the previous week so I had to go that week. I began to lose hope that she would leave me be, and I never had much hope in explaining to her my reasons because I have enough difficulty with that with fluent speakers, let alone someone of lesser English abilities.
I then began to examine what I was doing. I wanted this relationship with a girl whose culture, language, and religious practice I did not share. In all likelihood I will be leaving in a little over 4 months, and it would not be good for either of us. But Joy made me happy. I began to question why, and the answer was simple; I was looking for happiness because I had lost it. When, where, and why I lost happiness I can't quite tell. I am inclined to say it was sometime since I moved to Korea, though it's just as likely that the move simply made it more obvious.
I realized that I've been looking for happiness in people. I look at every girl that walks past me in hopes that our eyes will meet and I will see in them some acknowledgement that I am attractive. I look at men and think to myself that the girls around us find me more attractive because I'm foreign and exotic. I try very hard to be invited to dinner with my coworkers. There are other examples, I am sure, but no more that quickly come to mind. It is all quite pathetic.
I have always found happiness in other people: in their presence, in their happiness, in their approval, in their laughter. Whether this is good or bad I have not yet analyzed, but the point is that I have never looked for happiness in others, I had always had it. Since I have moved here, however, I have had no one else to be with, to find affirmation in, to witness their pure happiness. I have been lonely: in spirit, in person, and in mind. This loneliness has only grown. At first it was my goal to live without internet in my house. This quickly fell because I "needed" it to call friends and family more conveniently. It was my goal to live without a cell phone, but I "needed" it to jump-start a social life here (it hasn't done too much good). I had not intended to buy an Xbox, but I "needed" it to stay in contact with the few friends I can on there. It was my goal not to accumulate things while here, but I "needed" a bike so I could have freedom of mobility. I bought my ebook reader to read books, sure, but I realized once I bought it that I was happier because while I was reading I wasn't living reality, where I was lonely.
I am not entirely sure of the cure. Of course people want to say that God is the answer, and depending upon what is meant I am likely to agree. But I want to know why I was happy before I came here. Was I really happy, or just not noticing that I wasn't because I had so many people around me? I believe the Christian life is made up of three relationships: our relationship to God, our relationship with others, and our relationship with ourselves. Our relationship with God might be broken down into communication (prayer) and obedience, which is borne out in our relationship with ourselves and others. This may or may not be true or helpful, but it is as I've come to see it. If it's true, then our relationship with others is very important. Humans are social creatures and need others, but the extant to which we need them, and who we need, are our sins. I believe I have desired people too much, and desired God and myself too little.
Believing as I do that going into a building that some call a "church" is not necessary to the Christian life, and that our emphasis on reading the Bible is ill-placed because not until the last 100-150 years have the Western public been able to easily and readily own their own Bible (not that it shouldn't be read, but it needn't be memorized, and time is much better spent in "doing"), my emphasis is on people (in all manner) and prayer, and in these I hope to please our God. And in these, I know I have not. But you see how I can so easily go from the idea of pleasing Him with my relationships with others, to pleasing myself with my relationships with others. And the neglecting of prayer is as simple as not doing it, and "none" are the wiser.
It is this tightrope that I thought I was so deftly walking, and have realized that I was not walking at all, but thrashing around on the ground some 30 feet below the rope with a broken neck, only furthering my injuring by my continual movement.
Some of you may be curious about Joy. So am I. I do not know what is going to happen. We are still on good terms, she is aware of none of these thoughts, and she is probably just thinking that I should've gone to church but didn't, oh well.
As a reminder, go here for the pictures of Palmi Island.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
God's Will
God's will is a phrase we toss about today like a beanbag at a 6-year-old's birthday party. When the idea of it first came to humanity, it was likely to a nomadic man somewhere in Mesopotamia whose idea of freedom was likely so vastly different than ours as to almost defy definition in our modern frame of mind. As it progressed, and seemingly came to a head in the New Testament, so did the people to whom it was spoken to. Incidentally, doing a search for "God's will" or "will of God" will yield very little (surprisingly little for most people).
So what is God's will? Can it be known? To what extent? I don't know the answer, but it has been enlightening to look at the lives of those who were the first to read Paul's letters, or John's, or Peter's, etc. They did not own cars. The furthest they could hope to travel in a given day would've been less than 50 miles on land, and less than 100 by sea, if in both cases conditions were optimal. These are rough guesses from one totally uneducated in such things, so allow me to be wrong, but I don't think I'm too far off, at least not for sake of my point. Their choice of schooling was limited to their father's income and where they lived, and if any sort of "higher" schooling even existed near them. Their choice of a job was limited to their father's occupation or the kindness of another who was willing to take on an apprentice. Their choice of a spouse was infinitely more limited than ours due to a variety of factors, not the least of which were lesser freedom of travel, less life experiences, and generally lower population densities.
So these three things: occupation, education, and spouse. These are the big things in one's life, and the three things that many Christians think of most often when thinking of "God's will." And it was these three things that our ancestors had so little of a choice in, in comparison to ourselves. And all my previous reckoning was assuming that the person in question was not a slave or servant who had almost no choice in their future, as we may say it.
Yet we all three--moderns, ancients, and ancientests (spellcheck?)--share something in common, and it is in this that I think God's will is focused. It is our daily reckoning with ourself and with others. It is simply living, wherever and whenever one is and chooses, but living truth, and living love.
The New Testament never seems to mention a man's occupation, except that he is leaving it to follow Christ. The New Testament never seems to mention a man's education, except to call it rubbish when measured against the Father's Kingdom. And this is all probably coincidental or accidental, and I build no great statements on them as being a strong foundation, but it is something interesting to consider.
So what is God's will? Can it be known? To what extent? I don't know the answer, but it has been enlightening to look at the lives of those who were the first to read Paul's letters, or John's, or Peter's, etc. They did not own cars. The furthest they could hope to travel in a given day would've been less than 50 miles on land, and less than 100 by sea, if in both cases conditions were optimal. These are rough guesses from one totally uneducated in such things, so allow me to be wrong, but I don't think I'm too far off, at least not for sake of my point. Their choice of schooling was limited to their father's income and where they lived, and if any sort of "higher" schooling even existed near them. Their choice of a job was limited to their father's occupation or the kindness of another who was willing to take on an apprentice. Their choice of a spouse was infinitely more limited than ours due to a variety of factors, not the least of which were lesser freedom of travel, less life experiences, and generally lower population densities.
So these three things: occupation, education, and spouse. These are the big things in one's life, and the three things that many Christians think of most often when thinking of "God's will." And it was these three things that our ancestors had so little of a choice in, in comparison to ourselves. And all my previous reckoning was assuming that the person in question was not a slave or servant who had almost no choice in their future, as we may say it.
Yet we all three--moderns, ancients, and ancientests (spellcheck?)--share something in common, and it is in this that I think God's will is focused. It is our daily reckoning with ourself and with others. It is simply living, wherever and whenever one is and chooses, but living truth, and living love.
The New Testament never seems to mention a man's occupation, except that he is leaving it to follow Christ. The New Testament never seems to mention a man's education, except to call it rubbish when measured against the Father's Kingdom. And this is all probably coincidental or accidental, and I build no great statements on them as being a strong foundation, but it is something interesting to consider.
Friday, October 9, 2009
An Enquiry into Somatosensoral Words and Their Subjective Meanings, Particularly Applied to the Eastern Mindset vs the Western Mindset.
Apparently, in the Korean toothbrush market, "Soft" is merely a relative term to differentiate between toothbrush bristles which will rip concrete from its moorings, from those that will merely rip your gums from your head.
Good News, Bad News
First, the bad news. I was told Thursday that the lease on my apartment is up at the end of this month and will have to move because the prices in the area have increased as much as 25%. I won't be moving too far away, just a 10-minute bus ride probably, but that's a lot more than a 3-minute walk :( Plus, I've gotta pack all my stuff. I've been told that when it comes time to move, they'll hire someone to actually move it all, which is nice since I don't have a car here. Almost 8 months here and I have just began to enjoy this town I'm living in, and now I have to move. Oh well, so it goes.
Now, the good news. The overtime was supposed to be taken away last week, but something happened and now it's delayed for another month. Because I thought it was being taken away, I had asked my boss to give me as many as he could. I've been grading an average of 65 e-BCs a week, which results in an extra $140/week, on average. In addition, the won continues to rise agains the dollar, which means I get a small raise every day. Right now the won is where it was just over a year ago. There hasn't been a day in the past month or so where it didn't go up at least a little bit, and sometimes more than a little bit. By the time the overtime does get taken away, I'll be making more on my base salary than I was when I got here, including base and overtime.
There are 4 of us with October birthdays. Two were this past week, and two more next week. Every birthday, Topia buys a cake, and I had been looking forward to at least 2 cakes, assuming they'd combine the birthdays that fell on the same week. Well, guess what, they didn't. They combined all 4 into one, which was basically the low point of my week, realizing I would only get one cake. I've decided, however, to stick it to the man and buy another cake next week because, dammit, I want cake.
A few friends and I are going to Itaewon today, which is foreigner central here, because I need to shop for some good winter shoes. I want some simple moccasins with fur in them because that would be crazy-comfortable, and warm, but I somehow doubt they will sell them, or that they can custom-make them. My number 1 priority in shoes is comfort, and that doesn't even seem to figure on the Korean priorities list. Hopefully I can find something, or my toes will be cold all winter :(
Now, the good news. The overtime was supposed to be taken away last week, but something happened and now it's delayed for another month. Because I thought it was being taken away, I had asked my boss to give me as many as he could. I've been grading an average of 65 e-BCs a week, which results in an extra $140/week, on average. In addition, the won continues to rise agains the dollar, which means I get a small raise every day. Right now the won is where it was just over a year ago. There hasn't been a day in the past month or so where it didn't go up at least a little bit, and sometimes more than a little bit. By the time the overtime does get taken away, I'll be making more on my base salary than I was when I got here, including base and overtime.
There are 4 of us with October birthdays. Two were this past week, and two more next week. Every birthday, Topia buys a cake, and I had been looking forward to at least 2 cakes, assuming they'd combine the birthdays that fell on the same week. Well, guess what, they didn't. They combined all 4 into one, which was basically the low point of my week, realizing I would only get one cake. I've decided, however, to stick it to the man and buy another cake next week because, dammit, I want cake.
A few friends and I are going to Itaewon today, which is foreigner central here, because I need to shop for some good winter shoes. I want some simple moccasins with fur in them because that would be crazy-comfortable, and warm, but I somehow doubt they will sell them, or that they can custom-make them. My number 1 priority in shoes is comfort, and that doesn't even seem to figure on the Korean priorities list. Hopefully I can find something, or my toes will be cold all winter :(
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Happy Chuseok!
Today is Chuseok in Korea. Yesterday I went to some nearby mountains with a church group. It was a Christian retreat, and I'm sure most of you can figure out how I feel about those things. This one was exactly what I expected: good people, great people, trying hard to get to a good end, but whose means are not fully thought out.
During discussion, I had to remind the group, more than once, of how the disciples thought of Jesus because everyone there kept talking about it as if they considered Him to be the Son of God, or their God. There were other times where I had to bring things out about the Lord's Supper and the Passover, which should be obvious. It's all so frustrating. I say with Fitzgerald (though out of context) that this is "a new generation, shouting the old cries, learning the old creeds, through a revery of long days and nights; destined finally to go out into that dirty gray turmoil to follow love and pride." It's the same thing said over and over and over again, with little thought as to how does this rubber actually meet the road? I know for some of you it will come as a shock to hear me say this, but where's the practicality? Let's stop talking about "how to grow closer to God," and let's start DOING IT.
Any-dang-way. I did have fun, and I don't regret going. I met a guy who was born and raised in Uganda, who became a Christian and whose family disowned him because of it. I've told him that I'll give him half of my tithes to send to friends and people, as he sees fit, in his country. I met lots of Americans who were very new to Korea, within a month, and I was able to give them some advice and help. I stayed up until 5.30am talking with two other guys, discussing nothing and anything, being refreshed in the presence and conversation of fellow Christians. For some pics of the hike we went on (I went barefoot), go here: <http://picasaweb.google.com/jmphry/NamhanSanseong#>
Today being Chuseok, it was rather hard to find a meal. I invited a few people out to dinner, people who I knew didn't have anything to do on the holiday, and one was sick, one was tired, one never called back, but one did come. He and I went out to dinner, but it was a chore. We were basically trying to find a restaurant open on Thanksgiving or Christmas. All we could find were bars, haha, sad face. We ended up going to this new place that just opened behind Topia. It's a combination butcher and barbeque, so the meat is fresh. It was really pretty good.
During discussion, I had to remind the group, more than once, of how the disciples thought of Jesus because everyone there kept talking about it as if they considered Him to be the Son of God, or their God. There were other times where I had to bring things out about the Lord's Supper and the Passover, which should be obvious. It's all so frustrating. I say with Fitzgerald (though out of context) that this is "a new generation, shouting the old cries, learning the old creeds, through a revery of long days and nights; destined finally to go out into that dirty gray turmoil to follow love and pride." It's the same thing said over and over and over again, with little thought as to how does this rubber actually meet the road? I know for some of you it will come as a shock to hear me say this, but where's the practicality? Let's stop talking about "how to grow closer to God," and let's start DOING IT.
Any-dang-way. I did have fun, and I don't regret going. I met a guy who was born and raised in Uganda, who became a Christian and whose family disowned him because of it. I've told him that I'll give him half of my tithes to send to friends and people, as he sees fit, in his country. I met lots of Americans who were very new to Korea, within a month, and I was able to give them some advice and help. I stayed up until 5.30am talking with two other guys, discussing nothing and anything, being refreshed in the presence and conversation of fellow Christians. For some pics of the hike we went on (I went barefoot), go here: <http://picasaweb.google.com/jmphry/NamhanSanseong#>
Today being Chuseok, it was rather hard to find a meal. I invited a few people out to dinner, people who I knew didn't have anything to do on the holiday, and one was sick, one was tired, one never called back, but one did come. He and I went out to dinner, but it was a chore. We were basically trying to find a restaurant open on Thanksgiving or Christmas. All we could find were bars, haha, sad face. We ended up going to this new place that just opened behind Topia. It's a combination butcher and barbeque, so the meat is fresh. It was really pretty good.
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