End of Innocence or Education via Music

My youngest school children who are really good at English had a story last week entitled "Who Are You?" I asked them if they had heard of CSI and none of them had. I am constantly surprised at the amount of American pop culture these kids know, so I thought at least one of them would be familiar with the show. I guess they just don't get it over here. Anyway, I played the song, Who Are You, by The Who, and the kids loved it! I was shocked. I thought they would hate it because I've found very few Koreans who like Classic Rock. They loved it, and have asked to listen to it everyday since, and who am I to refuse little children who want to listen to The Who?

While at the beach last Saturday, I let Diane listen to the music I like since all she listens to is Korean pop music (keep in mind she's a 12-year old girl). First I had her listen to System of a Down. She didn't really like it. Then I had her listen to Dream Theater. She didn't really like it. Then I had her listen to Coheed & Cambria. She didn't really like it. Then I had her listen to Underoath. She didn't really understand it. All in all, I believe I've ruined the innocence of a number of children. I hope to ruin some more.

I have a friend whose school closed down and wasn't given any warning. She was going to find another job, but her boyfriend unofficially proposed to her, so she decided to go back to Canada instead. In the meantime, her school didn't fully close down, it just lost a lot of money and only had 10-15 students. She was still trying to teach when and what she could, but her school didn't really pay her. They also kinda kicked her out of her apartment.

This all happened in a matter of 2 weeks. She had no place to go, and a medium-to-large dog, so her friends didn't want to help her. I, who hates keeping animals as inside pets, whose apartment is immaculate, who hates dogs because they always lick everything, offered for her to stay at my place for a few days until her flight. It was an interesting 5 days during which my toilet seat got broken off my toilet, the entire floor of my apartment got licked, the dog peed twice in its kennel and as a result got bathed twice in my bathroom (hence the toilet seat), she nearly chewed up the ink pen I got in Guatemala, and hair and dander got EVERYWHERE, amongst other things too traumatic for me to remember. She left Tuesday morning, and I'm still cleaning.

I did get paid for the experience, in a manner of speaking. She left behind some useful things, such as a full-length mirror, some decent speakers, a fitted sheet, an electric adapter, an outlet extender, some soap, a hammer and nails, a wrench, two small dry-erase boards, and some shoes that I will shortly turn into cash if she doesn't want them.

There's a girl who works at the front desk at work. She's a temp, and kinda cute, and she likes to look at me and smile, so I like to look back at her and smile. It's a nice routine we got going. Today, I was so bold as to ask my boss if inter-office dating were ok. I would never ask such a thing if it were a fellow-teacher, but she works at the front desk, AND she's a temp, so I thought maybe. Well, the short answer is no, and the long answer is no, and she likes to look at all the guys and smile. That kinda took the wind out of my sails, but oh well. My boss did remind me she's a temp, and she might leave soon. Here's hoping.

A Real Update

Sorry, it's been very long since I've said anything of substance about my life here.  I have a lot to say, but I may not remember it all.  I'm also tired so I don't feel like writing it and then putting it in order, so I'm just going to write it as it comes to mind.  If it's a little scatterbrained, that's why.

First, another installment of Flatter the Teacher by Writing an Insane Story and Putting Him as the Main Character (same student as Flying Pig, and this one is supposed to be about earthquakes.  It's ok, but the ending makes it great, to me.):

Once upon a time, the big forest is state at middle of peaceful country.  In the forst, there are small ccloset with dark energy.  It's monster closet.  Allof monsters are sleep at there.  One day magician came and locked there closet's door.

Long time later, big earthquake hit the peaceful country.  Country's land is break everywhere.  It's terrible accident.  The small closet's door is open.  Ghosts and monsters are freed.  Magician notice it and go t othe big forest again.  Road is very difficult to pass, but his magical power is wonderful!  When he arrived, monsters are beat with him.  Magician locked them in big new closet and throw it to underground.  Earthquake crash earth's surface and monster closet is fell to thhere.  So we can't see monsters and ghosts today.

This story's reason is earthquake is best way to destroy monster house or bad teachers.

Again, nothing showing that he understood the story or anything.  

I went to the beach Saturday with the choir from my church.  When we think of going to the beach, we think of swimming, and lying out, and swimming some more.  Apparently, when Koreans think of going to the beach, they think of playing dozens of organized games.  There wasn't one minute of non-scheduled time.  Basically, we played church games.  I was on the winning team of one game and got a prize.  When I got home I opened it to discover that it was 4 tubes of toothpaste.  Oh yeah, Koreans are crazy about their teeth.  Recently Korea put out the 3-3-3 campaign.  It means brush your teeth 3 times a day, for 3 minutes, and within 3 minutes of eating.  4 tubes is a year's supply, so that's nice, no more buying toothpaste for me.  

I also met a really nice, really cute Korean girl who was going to college in Kansas but was home for the summer.  She also has a really nice boyfriend.  So anyway.  The reason I went to the beach with the church choir was that my friend Peter, whose family I do a language exchange with, is in the choir and he invited me.  The entire day lots of people were trying to recruit me for their different church activities, which I abviously was having nothing of.  Koreans are busy, and I don't know if that's because they like to be busy, or if they're just trained to be busy from childhood, but they tried to make me busy.  Also, ah-ja-mahs (older, married Koreans ladies who wear really big sunvisors and/or pollution masks) were sizing me up for their daughters.  I got on the bus and within 2 minutes one was already asking if I was married, how old I was, etc.

Peter's oldest daughter came, but his wife and youngest daughter didn't.  His wife has sharp pains in her lower neck/upper back, and it sounds like a problem with the discs in her spine.  His youngest daughter didn't want to go without mommy, so she stayed home, too.  As a result, I got to spend a lot of time with just Peter and his daughter, Diane, who's 13.  I don't know if it's just a Korean thing, but it seems she and I feel comfortable sitting right next to each other and not saying anything for a long time, and then talking for a long time.  It's kinda weird to call her a good friend, but I do think of her like that, and also a baby sister.  

Today I got my list of classes for next semester.  I don't teach any of the same classes at all, so it's all new students (with a few possible exceptions due to repeaters and kids changes days, etc).  One thing I'm pretty excited about is that I get to teach two mastery classes.  These are students whose English is basically fluent.  I taught the level just below them, last semester, and now I get to teach them.  It could be fun, but I hear that we, as teachers, have a lot of homework because of that class.  Also, last semester I had 26 hours but this semester I teach 28.  We're getting lots of new students, still, because this will only be the 3rd semester this campus has been in existence.  We just hired 2 new Korean teachers and one new foreign teacher, though there are rumors that one of our current Korean teachers will be leaving for health reasons.  

I have even more to post, but I'll just send this through and hope to write more later this week.

Yet Another Installment of Flatter my Teacher by Writing About Him

Same class as the Flying Pig story, different student.  The topic was "write a story about earthquakes."  This student got a little closer, I guess.

Once upon a time, there lived the mighty soldier Jason.  Jason loved to kill people, so he killed people as many as he could and ate them.  One day God came to him and said I'm going to tell you to stop eating people, but Jason didn't listen.  Then the god was angry and tried to make people new, because these people's were full of sin.First he sent an earthquake united states and distroied the buildings.  Next, he sent an earth quake to Japan, but this modified were not a 3 or 4 it was more than a 9 whitch is the best dangerous earthquake.  The damages were buildings were falling apart, and people dying.  However, suddently nice, friendly our here Super man came and flied to heaven and kill the god, so the earth was happy again.  Happy ending.

I'm beginning to worry about my class.

Teacher's Day Swag

After lunch at Outback, a foreign teacher mentioned having a competition to see who got the most gifts for Teacher's Day. A Korean teacher said that'd be a good idea, and then we realized that the Korean teachers would get the most because they're homeroom teachers and call the parents all the time. So, we decided that homeroom teachers couldn't compete. There wasn't much interest in having a competition, but it was an interesting idea, and after the first class I think everyone else gave up anyway.

By the end of the first class I already had two handfuls of stuff. My second class gave me so much swag that I had to carry it to my desk in two trips. Needless to say, I won. Here's a picture of all the swank junk I got. You can see two mugs, multiple boxes of cookies and chocolates, a loaf of sweet bread, some shampoo and conditioner, cappuccino (me and Grace got an 8-pack of them, but shared them with the other teachers), soaps, mentos, mints, cards, and carnations. Carnations are the traditional Teacher's Day gift, and I got real ones, fake ones, pens with Carnations on them, carnation candies, etc. Apparently I'm the best teacher in the world.

Also pictured are some police officers jumping rope, and a special drink served only in Seoul.

Teacher's Day

Today (Friday) is Teacher's Day here in Korea. Topia is taking us out to lunch to Outback Steakhouse (no rules, just right), and our students are probably going to give us presents. I've already gotten a few because I don't see all my students on Friday. One of my students got me and his other two teachers some decorative soaps. I was quite offended at him telling me I stink, so I took a poop in the box he gave me and sent it to his house. As a guy, I'm already using the "decorative" soaps. I've been told by the female teachers that I'm barbaric because of this. So it goes. Another student got me cookies, because I told everyone I wanted cookies. Well, she got an 'A' and everyone else failed. She also wrote me a note, and here it is transcribed:

To. Jason teacher...v
Hello? Jason teacher! I'm a Chelthy...
This week Friday (5/15) is mentor's day. So, I make the teacher's presnt.
I like you...because you is very funny and kind, smart. I like funny boy...because with there is I'm so happy. I like happy smile face. ke,ke ^^
I think you is very told, teacher...and handsome. My present is cookie and letter. Letter is this and cookie is very delicus. I like this cookie. You eat think cookie is good taste. Very thanks teacher.

From. chelthy v

First, I think v is a heart, I'm not sure. Second, her name is Chelsea but she spells it Chelthy because there is no 'th' sound in Korean, so to them it sounds like 'ls.' Third, ke,ke is their way of saying hehe, and ^^ are smiling eyes. Fourth, I think "very told" is supposed to be "very old," though I'm not sure. I tell all my students I'm 84 years old, and some of them believe me. Fifth, the cookies were indeed delicus, and I ate them all last night. Sixth, in Korean there is no such thing as capitalized letters or articles (the, a, an, etc), so some of the students don't use capital letters in names, and they sometimes put articles in front of their names, hence "I'm a Chelthy."

I hope you enjoyed another installment of Laugh-at-the-Korean-Children's-English.

P.S. Check out that forecast for Seoul for the next couple days. For those of you in the undeveloped world, 17C is in the 60s. That's right, it's May and in the 60s. People tell me it's going to be the hottest summer of my life here in Korea, and I just laugh at them. They clearly have no knowledge of the Charlestonian summer. This is a quote from the Mark Twain, and is about India, but I think Charleston can replace India.

In India, "cold weather" is merely a convenctional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.

Bukhan Mountain

This post is rather lengthy, sorry. I know not all of you have the time to sit down and read all of this at once, but I hope that doesn't keep you from reading. I began writing as a literati about halfway through, albeit a bad one because my writing is much out of practice, so I apologize if the voice seems very odd. Without too much further ado (do, haha, if you laugh you're weird like me), here's my account of Bukhansan.

Finally, I'm writing about Bukhansan (san means mountain) which I climbed a week ago. Like I said it was amazing. Four of us went, Peter, Karen, Sarah, and myself. Peter went because he's a health nut and wanted to get an exercise or something, and Karen came just for fun, even though she has really bad allergies. Sarah organized the whole thing and I went just so I could wear my Vibram Fivefingers shoes, haha. Nah, I went b/c I love that kind of stuff, and I wanted to get some good pictures. I did get a LOT of stares, and some people tried to tell me in English, "beautiful shoes." I think they loved them. I probably could've sold a pair or two if I had them on me.

Anyway, Sarah was the mastermind behind this, so she chose our destination. She wanted to go to the Bukhan Fortress, but we couldn't figure out where that was. We decided on going to Daedanmoon, or Extreme Gate. We figured that was close enough to a fortress, and of course it was the furthest hike from where we started: 4.7km, or just under 3mi, one way, up the hill, in snow, barefoot.

We started off and realized that we were still in Seoul, and not quite in nature yet. The trail was so crowded that, at times, we had to move off the path to let others go by. A friend told me that Bukhansan is the world's busiest national park, and I can believe it. There was also a small village about 10 minutes into our hike, with a restaurant, street vendor, and a couple of buildings way off the path that I took to be homes or something. I thought that would be a nice life, living on the mountain, right next to the river, and giving food to stupid tourists.

Eventually, the crowd thinned out to just 20-30 people in sight at any given time, rather than over 50. The trail also widened, and we could believe we were in nature...sorta. There were far too many trees and not enough vistas, so pictures were rarely taken. Instead of a nice outing, alone, with beautiful views, it became an oppressive hike with people elbowing past. There were, however, some nice things along the way. We investigated a Buddhist temple off the path, and there were simple statues with Korean script on them. People had piled rocks beside them and said a prayer for luck. A prayer to whom I do not know, but I assume the Buddha. We met one or two people who could speak English fairly well, and walked with them for a time.

Eventually, however, morale began to die as Peter wasn't getting the workout he wanted, and Karen's allergies were bad and she wasn't seeing the sights she wanted. Sarah and I were also disappointed, but were trying to make the best of it. Peter and Karen mentioned going back, and when Sarah and I said we wanted to go on but that they could back, they felt like they would offend us if they did, so they kept going with us.

Someone voiced the opinion that I had been taking too much time at every single place to stop and play in the water, or climbing every rock there was, or venturing off the path to look closer at certain things. So, I tried to hurry ahead when there was nothing to see, and explore when I had the time. I climbed up a rock and found a small Buddhist temple at the top that had some construction going on. A man was sitting under the roof, snacking on some gimbap. I wish I had a picture because it was so simple and pure, but pictures are not always worth a thousand words, while a memory is often worth a million. With my Vibrams I took every opportunity to splash in the mountain-cold water.

The kilometers crawled past, but the people became more scarce. We were no longer bothered by crowds coming down the mountain, we no longer had to move out of the way for others, and it was becoming more like nature. For a time, the four of us spread out and were walking generally alone.

It was in such a state, and with no other Korean in site, that I overtook the bend that afforded me the first view of Daedanmoon. My feet ached, my back ached, I had stubbed a toe on a rock, my shoulders ached from my pack. I nearly fell down with relief, but the trail did not end at the Gate. Off to either side of the gate, a wall ran. I had no idea what it was for, but my first thought was of the Great Wall, and perhaps it had at one time been a boundary against the north, though I doubt it because North and South Korea have only been split for 60 years. I waited for the others to catch me up, and while Karen and Peter absorbed the view of the valley below, Sarah and I explored the path along the wall. Off to the left and beyond the hill we could see down into Seoul, expanding into the mists of pollution, much like seeing Hong Kong from Victoria Peak.

After seeing to the left, Peter and Karen said they were leaving, so Sarah and I decided to go down with them, leaving the wall to the right unexplored. It called to me, however, and within a minute of leaving the Gate I said I'm going back. Sarah immediately followed, and our group split. We said we'd hurry and tried to catch them up on the way down. I'm glad we decided to explore more, because the view from there was among the best I've ever seen, and made the trip worth it and more.

The trail to the right was far more difficult, and at times you had to pull yourself up using a rope. Finally, we crested a large boulder, and the descent on the far side was too steep for Sarah. She decided to stay and enjoy the view from there while I treaded on. Down the boulder and up another hill, I was confronted by a sheer rock face. I had seen others beyond it, so I knew it could be scaled, so I went about climbing. I want to say it was 25 feet high, but more likely it was 15 and my adrenaline made it grow. I was very thankful for my Vibrams at that point, allowing me to catch toe holds that would've been much more difficult in tennis shoes, and especially in hiking boots.

When I got to the top, there was an older Korean couple there to greet me. They were pouring over a map, and as it was after 5pm I assumed they were taking a rest before treading on to a camp site that night. I wanted to go with, but that boulder I sat upon was the end of my trail. The video I took in the web album is from this vantage point. Go here to check out all the photos and the video: <http://picasaweb.google.com/jmphry/bukhansan#>.

On my descent, I was faced again with that rock wall. Climbing down is infinitely harder than up, and I had no idea how I was going to get down. I almost started when I heard a Korean man's voice say, "Let's go this way." It was the man from the boulder, and he might have saved my life. He led me around and down to a rope, where I could repel down the side. So, as it turns out, that's how everyone else got up there! I didn't have to do any rock-climbing or nothing. It was much longer, but much safer, and I was grateful for the help.

At the bottom of the rope the mountain got very steep for a short way, and we had to skip and slide down. I was catching myself on trees using my hands, when one branch stump caught my left middle finger and left a gash over 1cm long. Blood immediately covered my finger, and I had to take the bandana I bought at the bottom of the mountain from off my head and wrap my finger. Blood soaked through the bandana, but there was nothing for it but to trudge on.

I met back up with Sarah, showed her some of the photos, and we started down. It was past 5pm and the sun was setting behind the mountain, so I knew we were racing the horizon as well as the peak. We wanted to catch up to Karen and Peter, but we had spent too much time sightseeing, and we were both very tired. Sarah was so tired she began scooting her feet along the ground, and tripped more than once. I made her slow down, fearing a twist or sprang and me schlepping her 3km down the hill. Nearly halfway down it started to sprinkle, which I welcomed, but Sarah broke out an umbrella. Silly girl! Oh well, to each his own.

Of course it took less time to go down than up, and we beat the sun, but near the bottom things stopped looking familiar. We got to an enormous rock slab that was sitting at quite an angle. To cross it was very difficult, and neither of us remembered it from the ascent. We turned back, and tried to find the path we had treaded up. After 20 minutes of circles and back-tracking, and trying to call Peter and Karen, we ran into some Aussies. We chatted with them and followed them to the trail. They were good guys, brothers actually, and we were thankful for their help as well as their company because by that time nearly everyone was off the mountain and we were entertaining thoughts of being lost on the mountain for the night.

We were off the mountain and at the bus stop just after sundown. Now we had nearly 2 hours of buses and subways back home before we could shower and nurse our wounds. My pack was merely the same backpack I've had since 8th grade, no hiking pack in the least, and when I removed it I discovered that tennis-ball-sized knots had developed in my shoulders and they were barely mobile if left unmoved for more than a minute or two. The shower I took that night was one of the best of my life. It took nearly 5 days for the aches and pains to disappear, but now I'm recoved and I want to tackle another trail. Perhaps the highest peak is in order now, hopefully it will afford more photos.

Flying Pig

Long long time ago, one tallest boy named Jason was lived. His height is 1310 meters. His so happy because he can stump small villages and people one day, he think, 'I want see what creatures are live at sky'. So, he put mountain upon another. Next, he jumped and arrived sky.

First, he saw pink creatures. It have wings and they are singing like bird. They are singing flying pigs. Their sing is like this, "Flying pig, Flying big, we are the ham, Flying pig, Flying pig, we are the ham."

Second, he saw white creatures. It have furry hair and they are jumping like rabbit. They are singing jumping lambs. Their sang is "Jumping jumping, jumping lamb, crazy, pinky, browny Lolipop...la la lar lar la." Jason think it's great song. When he got lots of years, he become a teacher

Jason teacher is jumping and flying at classroom and singing, "Flying pig, Flying pig. We are the ham." So, students face going to be dark. Next day, we can't find the tallest teacher Jason.

This is a story a student of mine wrote. The assignment was to write a creative essay about tornadoes, and this is what he gave me. I guess he didn't hear what I said, or hoped to flatter me enough that I'd give him an A. Well, the child got an A.

I went mountain climbing on Tuesday, I'll post about that in the next day or so. It was amazing and I've got some amazing pictures.

Let's get accosted every day!

So that girl who was a discipline problem last week brought me a coffee today! Well, of course her mother bought it, but it was pretty nice. It makes me depressed as hell, though, because it was a cheap coffee (stop laughing and lemme finish). Other parents have brought in 2 dozen Dunkin Donuts, other parents will bring in a few pizzas, some bring in boxes of chocolates, for no reason. And, when a student misbehaves the parents usually buy the teacher something of that caliber, but this child only brought in a coffee. The mom was very worried that I would hate her child, think she was bad, etc etc, so it was clear that the mother was upset, and should've sent something pretty nice, but I get the feeling that they maybe don't have enough money to buy something nicer. And that, my friend, is why it depresses me. I didn't care about the coffee, they could've kept that for all I cared. Oh well, I'm probably looking into this too much and the mother just didn't know what to buy a male teacher. But it still depresses me.

Tomorrow is Children's Day! I may be doing something with some friends, or I may just sleep all day, either one is fine with me. I mentioned last post that lots of students' public schools are closed Fri-Tues, and one class said none of them would be here today. Well, they all showed up, little bastards. I told them not to come, but oh well. I'm even two days ahead in that class somehow, so we could've missed today and it wouldn't have even matter. I love having tomorrow off, but Tuesdays are my easiest days so it would've been even nicer to have a MWF off, but oh well, any day is nice. There are 10 national holidays in the Korean calendar, and we get all of them off. However, this year, 8 of them fall on a weekend, so we only get 2 days off all year! Kinda sucks, but I still get my 10 vaca days. When you come visit me, as I know every single one of you are, give me a long heads up so I can get the days off.

*Tear

Last night I had my first good beer since I've been here. I went into Seoul with some friends and went to a bar called Freebird, haha. They had Hoegaarden and Guinness, and I nearly wept. I tried a beer I had never heard of, brewed in New York. It was called Honey Brown Ale or something like that. I reminded me of a mixture of Sam Adam's Brown Ale and Honey Ale. It had the sweetness of the Honey, and fullness of the Brown, and not much bitterness. Really good beer, I suggest it if ever you see it. Buses and subways stop running at 11pm, so we had to stay out until 5.30 when they start running again. We could've taken a taxi, but they're crazy expensive.

Tuesday is Children's Day. It's a national holiday and everyone is off work and school. Actually, lots of kids get Friday and Monday off, as well, for a 5-day weekend. Koreans work all the time, so this is a time for parents to spend with their kids. It translates to no work Tuesday! Yay! I always thought I enjoyed days off as a student, but I love them ten times more as a teacher. Some of my friends have Monday off as well so they went to Tokyo for their long weekend. I think I'm just going to sleep, haha.

I'm getting really fast at reading Korean, I'd say I read Korean as fast as my 13-year-olds who are above average read English. I still don't know how to formulate a sentence, but I intend to learn that this week. Korean has subject markers, so word order doesn't necessarily matter, though from what I can tell most things are in "normal" word order anyway. All I need to know is the basic verbs, some nouns, and subject/object/topic markers and I think I'll be able to make basic sentences. I already know some phrases, but I'm really excited about being able to make up my own sentences on the fly.

I got my gas bill and it, too, went up. I think it increased about 25%, or $1, so I need to start conserving more. Everything here is really well-priced, or downright cheap, except housing, and Topia pays that for me. I wish you guys were all over here b/c then I'd probably never leave.