Teacher's Day

Today (Friday) is Teacher's Day here in Korea. Topia is taking us out to lunch to Outback Steakhouse (no rules, just right), and our students are probably going to give us presents. I've already gotten a few because I don't see all my students on Friday. One of my students got me and his other two teachers some decorative soaps. I was quite offended at him telling me I stink, so I took a poop in the box he gave me and sent it to his house. As a guy, I'm already using the "decorative" soaps. I've been told by the female teachers that I'm barbaric because of this. So it goes. Another student got me cookies, because I told everyone I wanted cookies. Well, she got an 'A' and everyone else failed. She also wrote me a note, and here it is transcribed:

To. Jason teacher...v
Hello? Jason teacher! I'm a Chelthy...
This week Friday (5/15) is mentor's day. So, I make the teacher's presnt.
I like you...because you is very funny and kind, smart. I like funny boy...because with there is I'm so happy. I like happy smile face. ke,ke ^^
I think you is very told, teacher...and handsome. My present is cookie and letter. Letter is this and cookie is very delicus. I like this cookie. You eat think cookie is good taste. Very thanks teacher.

From. chelthy v

First, I think v is a heart, I'm not sure. Second, her name is Chelsea but she spells it Chelthy because there is no 'th' sound in Korean, so to them it sounds like 'ls.' Third, ke,ke is their way of saying hehe, and ^^ are smiling eyes. Fourth, I think "very told" is supposed to be "very old," though I'm not sure. I tell all my students I'm 84 years old, and some of them believe me. Fifth, the cookies were indeed delicus, and I ate them all last night. Sixth, in Korean there is no such thing as capitalized letters or articles (the, a, an, etc), so some of the students don't use capital letters in names, and they sometimes put articles in front of their names, hence "I'm a Chelthy."

I hope you enjoyed another installment of Laugh-at-the-Korean-Children's-English.

P.S. Check out that forecast for Seoul for the next couple days. For those of you in the undeveloped world, 17C is in the 60s. That's right, it's May and in the 60s. People tell me it's going to be the hottest summer of my life here in Korea, and I just laugh at them. They clearly have no knowledge of the Charlestonian summer. This is a quote from the Mark Twain, and is about India, but I think Charleston can replace India.

In India, "cold weather" is merely a convenctional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.