The Meaning of Liff

Liff (n.): a book, the contents of which are totally belied by its cover. For instance, any book the dust jacket of which bears the words. 'This book will change your life'.

The Meaning of Liff is a 200-something page book by Douglas Adams (author of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) that is simply a dictionary of made-up words, liff being one of them which lends itself to the title. I thought it was a pretty witty title, and as such makes it perfectly acceptable for me to steal as my own.

Since I've gotten my new eBook reader, I've read 2 full books, plus parts of many other books. I loves it. Also, in the past week I've rearranged my apartment, found the post office and mailed things to family, and started barefoot running.

First, to the barefoot running. My stomach is probably larger now than it has ever been in life, but that's kind of like saying I'm the fattest kid at anorexia camp. I'm not particularly worried about it, in fact I get a wonderful feeling of accomplishment when I realize that I'm not hungry, and that I'm eating at least 3 meals a day, unlike before I moved here and I was eating maybe 2 meals a day if I was lucky. However, my pants are starting to shrink or something, so I figure I'll get my waist to shrink a little along with them. And as for the barefoot aspect of barefoot running, of course I would do that and I'm sure none of you are surprised. While I'm beginning I'm just running around the block so my body can re-learn how to run properly. As my form gets more natural (and therefore better, faster, more effecient, etc) I will start running longer, obviously.

In the past week, a couple of changes have come over my psyche. Perhaps a quick history is in order. When I first started working at Topia, I was trying to make friends, and I was being myself. I didn't really make any true friends at Topia, and thought that maybe being myself somehow offended others, or something, so I began to chip away at myself. By that I mean I tried to talk less, be less the center of attention, be more comfortable alone, etc. At first I thought this was a good thing and that I would finally stop being so prideful and attention-needy. However, if that was my goal I wasn't going about it the right way, and looking back I can see I was kind of dying inside, and passing it off as something else. My self-confidence was slipping, my humor was going, etc.

Anyway, in the past week I've decided to throw all that crap away and just do what I feel like. In other words, do what I want and consequences (and others) be damned. As a result, I'm much more happy, my self-confidence is returning, and I crack jokes whenever and however I want, and if someone's offended well then they aren't listening right. I'm not entirely sure what has caused this change, but it could be a couple of things. In the past two weeks I've attended a meetup group that just improvises and jams in a guy's apartment, so music has returned to my life. I also attended an atheist meetup group whose sole purpose was to explain to each other why Christians were wrong. As a result, I got the chance to discuss religion. Those are the two greatests passions in my life, I've realized, and they were missing. Another great passion in my life is reading, and it, too, was missing until I bought this eBook reader. I was also under the impression that a co-worker didn't like me, despised me even, for a reason I could not begin to fathom. I finally asked a close friend of hers and he responded with absolute confusion, and said that idea never crossed his mind. This, too, has put me at ease because in my times of weakness and self-consciousness, I had invented all kinds of terrible things I unwittingly did to her/didn't do to her, and thought that she had convinced others I was a terrible person. I was kinda creating my own personal hell, though it's difficult to accurately represent the situation to you because my current state of mind is so contrary to what it was just a couple of weeks ago. In all likelihood I'm representing it much too graphically, but I'm trying to get it right.

As you can see, many changes have happened and I'm not sure what, if any of them, are solely (or even particularly) responsible for my new-found happiness. All I know is, I've got a new book toy thingy, and I don't give a damn no more.

Great News

We got our schedules today, and we do get 2 less hours next semester, yay! I have a 1-hour break on M and F, 2 1-hour breaks on T and R, and no breaks on Wednesday. That means I can finally eat a normal dinner 4 days out of the week! I'm so happy.

However, this can still all go downhill. A foreign teacher had some problems back home and said as recently as two weeks ago he may leave in September. I have heard nothing more from him, though I believe things are working out now. If, however, he were to leave, I imagine we would all get those 2 hours back.

Also, good news, my diarrhea has basically gone away. I still have some stomach problems, but nothing debilitating.

Oh, and I've found out I'm allergic to apples now. This started happening shortly after moving here. I had some apples, felt fine, but then one day I bought a bunch and as soon as I finished an apple I was sneezing and felt that my throat was tight. A week later I had 2 slices of apple that a student gave me, and I felt a similar sensation. Tonight, at work, they gave us green apples and peaches. I tried one slice of green apple, hoping the color difference may help, or that the allergy had gone away with me not eating any, but it was worse than ever. That single slice made my lips tingly and almost numb, made my throat feel tight, and my tongue feel funny. Hopefully I'm not allergic to apple sauce as well because that's one of my staple foods in America.

If I may recap my health problems since coming to this country: I've developed an allergy to one of my favorite fruits, I've developed plantars fasciitis, my eyesight has gotten significantly worse (my eyes feel strained all day and night, and small signs further than 10 feet away are blurry with my glasses on), I wake up with back pain everyday, I had a canker sore while first here, diarrhea, increased lactose intolerance, and I'm the fattest I've ever been in my life (though that's not saying much). Other than the fattness and eyesight, I don't know what to do about anything else. Maybe this post wasn't full of great news, I guess I lied, haha.

Good News (possibly)

Two bits of good news. First, and most important, I was unofficially told that most of us teachers will only be teaching 24 hrs/wk next semester (in one week). I currently teach 26 hrs/wk, and while a 2-hour deduction may not seem like much, it is. 2 hours less teaching means 2 hours less in the classroom, 2 hours more of office-time grading (i.e. not grading at home), and less time preparing for those 2 classes I don't teach. This would equate to about 5 hours less work/week. In addition, we are definitely losing the potential for online overtime, which is going to take $400/month from my pocket, but also give me 5-7 hrs/wk more free time. Odds are I won't be using that free time in any productive way, but I can hope, can't I? This is still unofficial, but I'll be finding out this week.

Second good news is that the eBook Reader that I've been waiting to come into stock is finally in stock, and I'll be heading to their main office on Tuesday morning (they have staff meetings Monday morning and I work in the afternoon) to purchase one for about $250. I'm incredibly excited. I have over a thousand ebooks downloaded already, mostly classics and sci-fi (and one Bible), and can't wait to start reading, especially since I can't check out books from the public library for two weeks. I didn't return one of their books for two weeks, and the punishment is no more books for two weeks. I'm not sure if it's a 1:1 ratio for the punishment, but it did seem like it. I would have rather just paid a couple of bucks, but oh well, I'm getting the ebook reader.

Now for some bad news. I've been at home all day with a terrible case of diarrhea. Yesterday, I had kimchi fried rice with an egg on top, some soup, beans, curry on rice, and a rice ball with kimchi in it (kimchi is the national food, delicious, fermented, and healthy). Nothing out of the ordinary, and I'm beginning to think I have some sort of worm or something. The past couple of hours have been fine, however, so hopefully it'll continue to get better. However, if it's so bad that I can't work tomorrow, then I may get my eBook reader one day early, haha.

I finally got my Xbox working online, so now I'm able to play Halo 3 with friends. However, with John in China, Alex MIA, and the 13-hour time difference, I haven't played with friends much. Oh well, I'm already getting bored of the game again, haha.

I finally found where the post office is. It only took a month. Turns out there is no Jukjeon library, only Suji post office. Jukjeon is where I live, but it's in Suji, so I've been searching for a Jukjeon library (and strangely enough finding it online) and not being able to find it in person. Just in time to be 3 months late for Nick's birthday, nearly 3 months late for father's day, nearly 2 months late for my brother's birthday, and right on time for my sister's birthday. However, I haven't gotten anything for my sister yet. I think I'm going to just send the box I have now, and find something for my sister next weekend.

Good Weekend

This past weekend was pretty good. Friday night, work treated the foreigner staff to dinner and drinks, which is always nice. Nothing crazy happened, luckily. I did find out, conclusively, that our online overtime will be outsourced to the Philippines, which takes about $400/month from me, but there's nothing I can do. No one likes it, except of course the higher-ups, who will be saving a buck or two.

Saturday I finally went into Itaewon. Itaewon is foreigner central, and supposedly has the largest amount of crime in all of Korea. I wouldn't doubt it, the place looks downright shady. I had wanted to not go there ever, just because the stereotype about foreigners there is not very good, but I am planning on going there next Saturday to get some shoes custom-made, so I might as well go now. I met some people there for dinner and discussion. It was a group of atheists, and I suppose they assumed I was an atheist, too. I went because I had nothing else to do, and I wanted to have a decent discussion on religion. Religion being a don't-ask-don't-tell topic for many people, my friends and I don't discuss it. I really enjoyed the discussion, but at times it was all I could do not to laugh at some of them. They of course complained about Christians just regurgitating what they've heard others say without trying to think about it or research it themselves, but some of them did the exact same thing, and I had to correct them on some of their false assumptions. I don't really know what I'm going to do, I'm sure they'll ask for my religious experiences sooner or later and I'll have to tell them the truth, but until then I guess I'll just add another perspective (i.e. one that is well-versed in Christianity).

The group dynamic was pretty interesting. There was an ex-orthodox Jew, a couple of ex-Protestants, and a couple of people who'd never been religious. The ex-orthodox Jew of course knew a lot about Judaism, but the ex-Protestants knew about what the average Protestant knows, and the others knew even less. The next meeting is in two weeks and the discussion will center around a debate between a rabbi and some news guy. According to the ex-orthodox, it's pretty good and the rabbi holds his own.

Sunday, I met up with some fellow musicians and we had a 5-hour jam/improve session. It was pretty cool. Some of us were quite good, some of us were quite new, so laughs were had sometimes on purpose, and sometimes on accident. Afterwards a few of us went to an open-mic night in Itaewon (twice in two nights...) where one of the girls performed a couple of her songs.

Still on the quest for a good friend that I can share things with and just hang out with. As Grace gets closer to quitting Topia, she is becoming more involved with church. She is the kind of person who enjoys being busy, and she knows once she quits work she'll be bored, so I think that's why she's doing this. Seriously, she's probably doing something "churchy" at least 20 hours/week now, on top of working at least 40. It's sickening, actually, because at her church I see very little concern for working outside of the church. Everyone likes to sit in circles and stroke their god-ego. People are constantly trying to pull me in and get me more and more involved, and I just want to shout at them to leave me alone, that I'm fine without their useless Christian backrubs.

I bought an Xbox in early July and have never been able to connect to Xbox Live to download things. That means I can't download updates to games and therefore can't play them online. Basically, the Xbox is useless to me. I've spent at least 6 hours on the phone to Microsoft, and at least as many hours on the internet googling for solutions, and found nothing. I've tried to call my ISP here but I can't get through to anyone. I'm very close to just selling the thing and counting my losses. That'll give me more money to buy an eBook reader and/or iPod.

P.S. It's finally happening! <http://edition.cnn.com/2009/TECH/08/13/cell.phone.wallet/index.html?eref=rss_tech>

To Have and to Have Not

So I lost a bunch of stuff today. I'll start from the beginning, since that's a pretty good place to start. First there was God, and His roommate Steve. Then, God created the universe, and most of what is in it today. Humans created some stuff, too, I guess. Steve didn't really do much.

That brings us to today. A few friends and I wanted to go hiking, so we decided to climb Bukhan Mountain. It's the most popular mountain in the area, and I and two others had been there before. We ended up doing the same climb I did back in early May. Anywho, we we met at a coffee shop at 10am, but on the taxi ride there my wallet fell onto the floor of the cab, and I didn't realized it at the time. I thought the "thump" I heard was a coin hitting the floor, and after a quick inspection and finding nothing, I left the cab. My wallet had my Alien Registration Card (ARC), my iPod, my debit card, my subway money card, and, most importantly, a coupon to Java City.

Korea can be a very honest place at times, so honest it's scary. I've heard stories of people getting the wallet stolen, then mailed back to them with only the money missing. My ARC has my school's address on it, so hopefully they mail it or call or something. My ARC, subway card, and debit card can be easily replaced, but my iPod and Java City coupon can't be. It has taken me nearly 5 months to fill in that whole card to get a free coffee, and now that I have I've lost it. Because I lost my subway card I had to buy single ticket passes all day, which cost a little more than using a subway card, and are lots more annoying.

Before we reached the mountain, two of my friends wanted to stop by a store that sold really cheap backpacks. The cheap backpacks were also low quality, so we started looking at nice, hiking packs, and they were cheap, too. I ended up buying a 40 liter Abba bag for about $30, which isn't incredible or anything, but probably worth about $50 in the States. It helped immensly on the climb, since last time I used my 11-year-0ld Janson backpack from 8th grade which left knots the size of baseballs on my shoulders.

The hike was great, much better than last time because, last time, not all the members of the group were equally motivated, and not everyone had the same goals in mind. It made for a somewhat stressful, at times not fun trip. This time, everyone was on the same page and it was much better. The weather, however, wasn't. There was much more foliage which took away a lot of the views, and it rained on us for about 30 minutes. I would like to show pictures of the hike, but that leads us to my next great loss of the day.

After hiking back down the mountain and getting back into the city, I hoped on my favorite bus, the 1005-1, to go home. I was quite tired from only 6 hours of sleep and the hike, so I dozed a little on the bus. While I was sleeping I had my camera in the crook of my arm, and at some time during the bus ride it fell out of my arm, but I didn't realized it. When I woke up I didn't remember ever holding my camera, so I didn't look for it until I got to my apartment and was unloading my bag. Found it at the bottom of my bag, nevermind.

So, the bad news is over, now for some good news. My camera was already messed up; it couldn't zoom and if I tried it would shut off, so it needed to be replaced sometime soon. I was also contemplating buying another iPod when the new ones come out in September, either the latest model or the one before it, since they'd be cheaper. I still shouldn't be purchasing such expensive electronics willy-nilly, and I don't "need" either one, so if I don't get them returned then I'll just do without for a while, but it would be nice to have them so I can sell them when I want to upgrade. Oh well, so it goes.

Life is ok right now, nothing bad, but nothing great either. Still haven't felt connected to this country or any people, so I'd like to go home when my contract is up in 7 months. The coolest thing going on right now is that I'm kinda hellbent on buying an ebook reader. I've stopped drinking and buying expensive foods, just to save up. So far, in just two weeks, I've saved about $100. I'm having trouble with my Xbox, so I may sell that and be able to buy the ebook reader now. In anticipation of getting one, I've downloaded a couple hundred books in the past few days: everything by Hemingway, Salinger, Haruki Murakami, Asimov, Douglas Adams, lots of Robert Jordan and Orson Scott Card, and a few odds and ends.

Oh, and the title is an allusion to a book by Hemingway, "To Have and Have Not."

P.S. sorry for writing so rarely, I had gotten out of the habit while I was busy in June and part of July, and I'm trying to get back into it.

Strangest...Dream...EVER

It was strange, but very comforting. Last night, I dreamed I was taken up through the most beautiful-blue sky, into Heaven. I have absolutely no recollection of what happened while in Heaven, but when I was placed back on Earth I remember being told a number: 8.22. There were one or two more numbers, but that is all I can remember now. For some reason, in the dream, I interpreted this as a specific date in 2010, but not August 22nd. There was some sort of logic involved, but I can't remember now because I can't remember the other number. Then, in the dream, as I realized it was a specific date (all I can remember now is it was sometime in the Fall of 2010), I thought to myself, "I need to remember this date, it's important, it's when the Resurrection will happen." The most beautiful, interesting thing about the dream, the thing I will probably never forget, is the color of the sky, and how comforted it made me feel. Now, of course I'm not saying I had some sort of vision or anything, but it was the only dream like that I've ever had.

The next dream I remember having was getting married. The date was sometime between now and fall of 2010, which makes me think it was an extension of the first dream, or something. It was the wedding day, and our families were all there and I remember us having to do stupid things that the families wanted. And by "stupid things" I mean weird stuff, like take our shoes off, and eat with only our pinkies. Anyway, just after the ceremony I remember thinking, "Oh no! My apartment is a mess (which it is right now), and we're going there right now." Another thought also occurred to me: I didn't have any condoms for the honeymoon. In short, I was unprepared for this wedding day. However, it, too, was a very comforting dream because of the feelings I had for my unknown wife, and the feelings I knew she had for me. We didn't have the wedding-day jitters, or that super-euphoric love, just an unstated, I-will-do-anything-for-you love.

Immediately upon waking, I tried to mix these dreams together and interpret them. I came up with the idea (and this is moments after waking, still in a dream-like stupor) that the Resurrection really was going to happen in a little more than a year, and that I would not be ready. I can't quite agree with that interpretation, however, because I'm not convinced I had a vision from God, and in the wedding dream I didn't feel bad because I was unprepared, it was something that just happened.

Like I said, I'm not convinced I had some vision from God, but that dream was very strange, different than any dream I can remember having, and it was so peaceful and reassuring. It was welcomed, because I've been so busy lately and I feel like I'm being pursued: by work, by worry, by time.

So busy

I have been sooo busy this past month with all my classes. Every week I have to grade 18 1-2 page essays, 17 short essays, 12 story summaries, 12 character analyses, prepare two pages of in-depth discussion questions for two classes (questions such as, how does the author use chiaroscuro in the story, what is the purpose of parody, what are the conflict, plot events, and resolution of the story, how does the author use housework to illustrate the deeper meaning of the story etc.), grade 12 word tests that include spelling, part of speech, and sentences, etc, and that's only for 6 of my 13 classes. Those are my most work-heavy classes, but that doesn't mean there's nothing to the others. As I've mentioned before, I tend to get to work an hour or two early, stay 30 minutes, grab dinner, then grade papers for an hour or so, then go to bed. Now, in addition to all that, I have midterms to grade.

Today, however, I caught up...somehow. I have nothing big to grade this weekend, and my usual online overtime is smaller this week for various reasons. In short, I am relieved almost to the point of tears. I want to assign less work so I will have less work to grade, but if I do that the students won't learn as much.

I traveled to a nearby city and bought a used Xbox 360 from a guy. I had been debating over it for months, and finally decided to do it. I had been spending between $5-10 a week in internet cafes, playing Starcraft b/c I was bored (until I got so busy, that is). I bought the 360 and two games for around $200, and I probably won't be going to internet cafes anymore, so technically I kinda saved money. In addition, John is moving to China and it'll be nice to play Halo with him, in addition to Mike and Alex who are still in South Carolina. I don't have Halo yet, but I've been able to talk to both Mike and John while playing different games, so that's pretty cool.

I've been thinking a lot about extending my contract or not, and it basically boils down to a job. If I don't have a job setup in America when my contract is up, there's almost no point going home to the economy and trying to find one. However, I can't imagine a situation in which I would extend more than 6 months, so I'll almost certainly be back in the country before September 2010. My friend Austin, however, has been doing independent website design. He's been able to make pretty good money and, from what I can tell, keep pretty steadily employed. If I can manage to study some programming languages while I'm here, I could head back to America after my 1 year, assuming nothing keeps me here (primarily the proverbial girlfriend). Doing programming will also allow me the opportunity to travel and see the friends who will, by that time, scatter to the corners of America. The problem will be finding time. Therefore, I'm considering not doing the online overtime next semester, which will cost me ~$100/week, but will also give me ~5 hours/week. Knowing myself, however, those 5 hours may go towards things not productive. It's all very tentative, as you can see.

On a totally unrelated note, ThePirateBay.org is being bought out for just under 8mil and it will become subsidized. A horrible blow to those of us who believe information should be free. I have never thought much of what I am able to produce or give, and have always had trouble charging for it. For instance, I taught surf lessons for free through much of high school and college, even though they go for ~$30/hour for a private, and I taught flute lessons for almost 2 years for free. I also have a difficult time imagining teaching private lessons here in Korea for money. It upsets me to see some charge outrageous prices for, what amounts to, frivolity. Thus, in Korea where there are no ramifications, I shall pirate all the media I can, while I can.

Umbrellas

Rainy season
Seoul.
Sidewalks,
Submitted to the seasonal rain,
Are flooded,
And couples,
Cheating rain,
Take refuge in European faux cafes with stupid forks.

The windows are thrown open to make a restaurant into an open-air cafe.
The seat-mate's back is to the rain
Her face being framed by cherry blossoms
Who are washed in the rain.
Passerbys cradle their umbrellas
In hues of pink, grey, gray, and rainbow
And he comments how his is broken.
Which is good, because later,
He will walk into the rain, sans umbrella
To hide his tears in the rain.

That's very hot

Title is a reference to a Korean sketch comedy show, you can view it here: <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Otrl8bGejvU> . Remember, Asian men and Asian women will hold hands to show friendship, not necessarily homosexuality (but the two on the right are pretty clearly playing gay people). If anyone says anything contain the words "that's," "very," or "hot," they tend to break out into this for a few seconds. The song they sing, "Sorry," is a really popular K-pop song right now. The two guys in white are in the group that sings that song. Oh, and you guys in America might want to start getting used to this kind of stuff: <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eodFU4b237s>. Apparently this group is about to release some stuff in America, most likely this song. I'm hoping something is lost in the translation b/c those English lyrics SUCK. I mean, it's K-pop so I don't know what I'm expecting, but I would be nice for some pop song somewhere to not suck (besides, of course, Aqua, whose entire CD which includes Barbie Girl is a definite winner and the only pop album I own, and proudly).

The title is also referencing the weather. Today is the first day of the year it'll break 30C (86F). Summer is definitely coming, only a few days away. I always love the summer solstice because it's the longest day of the year, and I always tell myself I'm going to get up with the sun and try to stay up 24hrs. I could've done that while in college since my schedule was whatever, but I definitely can't do that now. Oh well, maybe some day. However, since Korea doesn't do daylight savings time, the sun sets sometime after 8pm, not almost 10pm like in Charleston. It kinda kills some of the effects.

I've been working like crazy these past couple weeks. My mastery classes are a joy to teach, but they drain me with all the extra homework, grading, tests, handouts, etc. I spend 1 hour of prep time for every 1 hour of class time with them. That's pretty high, just ask any teacher. Then, I spend at least 1 hour of grading for every 1 hour of class time, so if you want to include grading as prep, the ratio is actually 2:1. In addition, I have 3 other classes that write essays or whatnot on a regular basis, and I have to correct it and give it back to them to rewrite. Unit Tests started yesterday, so I have to grade them, as well. I'm still doing online overtime, so everything considered I'd say I'm working about 60hrs/wk. My days have been going like this: wake up at 11.30, get to work by 1. Begin prepping, or grading, or do EBCs (online overtime), whichever is most pressing. Teach classes from 3.30-10, put grades and homework online, go to Cheers, a bar across the street (not named after the show, just named after the saying), and grade papers for an hour or two, go home, do EBCs or just veg out in front of my computer for an hour or two or three, go to sleep, repeat. Needless to say I'm getting tired.

Having made new friends with Grace's cousin and the bus stop girl (her name is Jade) really helps things, and I'm meeting Jade at 2pm Saturday to go to Mokdong. I've been there a couple of times but don't really remember the circumstances, so I can't say what there is to do there. Basically, I have no idea what we're doing. Doing that on Saturday takes away the time I would spend with the family doing language exchange, and I really love hanging out with them. I may see if I could start seeing them on Saturday or Sunday, depending on the week, but idk if that'll work with them. I haven't called Grace's cousin, but I'm considering calling her up and seeing if she wants to do something Sunday evening. Of course we'd meet in Seoul somewhere b/c there's nothing to do in Jukjeon (where I live), but even still she's almost 2 hours away, so even meeting in the middle means an hour of travel for each of us. I may just relax Sunday, idk.

An almost all-nighter

Grace had free time yesterday (quite a rarity) so I spent the afternoon with her in southern Seoul, a place called Gangnam. It's a really, really nice part of Seoul, I've been there about 5 times. Dr. Fish is there, the place where you stick your feet into the fish tank and they eat dead skin from your feet. Grace's cousin also came along, and the three of us had fun.

Grace had to be at church around 7pm so she left early, but her cousin and I had nothing to do so we walked around for a long time, then ate dinner at a sushi place. It was really good sushi, and then names were cool, too. I got Charlie Brown sushi, she got Treasure Island sushi. Good stuff. After dinner I suggested a movie, so we went and bought tickets to The Taking of Pelham 123 (the worst acting I've ever seen from John Travolta and Denzel Washington, btw, don't waste your time unless you just want to see action). The movie didn't get out until midnight, and the subways close at 11pm on weekends. I was under the impression that the buses had stopped running as well, so I thought I was stuck. Grace's cousin, meanwhile, was closer to home and took a taxi.

I hung out at the bus stop with a hundred other people trying to catch the last bus home, but I didn't know if mine would come. I finally asked a cute Korean girl to make sure I was even headed in the right direction, and her English was surprisingly good. Another problem was I had no money on my travel card, and I didn't have exact change (buses require exact change to ride). She offered to pay for my ticket since she was headed in the same direction, and of course we struck up a conversation on the bus. Turns out she lives about 10 minutes from me, and works two days on, two days off at a hotel. I'm actually about to leave right now to have dinner with her (still not 100% positive if it's a date or not, it may just be a language thing) before she heads to work.

So, instead of pulling an accidental all-nighter in Gangnam, I met a friend, got the last bus home, slept in my own bed, got up for church, and might have a date right now.

The weather is here, wish you were beautiful

The weather here is AMAZING! Everyone kept telling me how hot the summer is, and I kept laughing in their face. Well, it's June and I still haven't turned on the a/c (unless you count my 5-day roommate insisting upon it being turned on...women). I've also had the windows open for almost a week now. It does get warm and sticky in the day, but I work until 10pm so by the time I get home the weather is beautiful. I sleep with a thick sheet on me, and I actually woke up around 10am this morning, a little chilly. It was wonderful. Eat your heart out you sweating Charlestonians. (side note, the weather thing on my blog is wrong. It's reporting from Argentina, even though I have it pointed at Seoul. I'm going to continue to try to fix it, or just take it off. I'm sure none of you look at it anyway, since you can't read celcius ;)

Saturday is Korean Memorial Day, and Topia is going to a baseball game on Sunday. From what I can tell, the baseball teams here don't have city names and mascots. Instead, the company that sponsors them gives them their name. For instance, there's a Samsung team, an LG team, etc. I don't know how the mascots work, but they probably have them. I have to imagine that in Asia, where everything that can be drawn as a cartoon is drawn as a cartoon, they'd have silly mascots.

My new classes are great. The two mastery classes that I teach are full of brilliant students. They're all fluent in English, and if they were in America they'd be in a gifted and talented class, or whatever you call it. As such, we're already getting into literary analysis with 4th and 5th graders. It's a joy to teach them, but it's also a lot of work. I have to do some serious prep work, and I can't always figure out the answers to their homework while in the class. So, I basically do the same homework they do, except the writing. My other classes are all new to me, with a handful of exceptions. I'm glad they're new, though, because I made a lot of mistakes last semester with discipline, and I can begin to fix that this semester. It sounds kinda weird and mean, but you really do have to train your kids like they're your pet or something. If you train them well, they'll act better and learn better, but if you don't train them then class is a pain and less learning gets done. I nearly threw a student out of class on the first day. That's the class I know I'm going to have problems with; they're in 6th grade and their English isn't very good. They've also been together for a few semesters so they're very familiar and comfortable with each other, and it's almost as if I'm walking in on a conversation, and have to awkwardly stand there until it's finished. I have to train them to look to me and not to each other.

Oh well, challenges ahead, lessons behind, weather all around.

End of Innocence or Education via Music

My youngest school children who are really good at English had a story last week entitled "Who Are You?" I asked them if they had heard of CSI and none of them had. I am constantly surprised at the amount of American pop culture these kids know, so I thought at least one of them would be familiar with the show. I guess they just don't get it over here. Anyway, I played the song, Who Are You, by The Who, and the kids loved it! I was shocked. I thought they would hate it because I've found very few Koreans who like Classic Rock. They loved it, and have asked to listen to it everyday since, and who am I to refuse little children who want to listen to The Who?

While at the beach last Saturday, I let Diane listen to the music I like since all she listens to is Korean pop music (keep in mind she's a 12-year old girl). First I had her listen to System of a Down. She didn't really like it. Then I had her listen to Dream Theater. She didn't really like it. Then I had her listen to Coheed & Cambria. She didn't really like it. Then I had her listen to Underoath. She didn't really understand it. All in all, I believe I've ruined the innocence of a number of children. I hope to ruin some more.

I have a friend whose school closed down and wasn't given any warning. She was going to find another job, but her boyfriend unofficially proposed to her, so she decided to go back to Canada instead. In the meantime, her school didn't fully close down, it just lost a lot of money and only had 10-15 students. She was still trying to teach when and what she could, but her school didn't really pay her. They also kinda kicked her out of her apartment.

This all happened in a matter of 2 weeks. She had no place to go, and a medium-to-large dog, so her friends didn't want to help her. I, who hates keeping animals as inside pets, whose apartment is immaculate, who hates dogs because they always lick everything, offered for her to stay at my place for a few days until her flight. It was an interesting 5 days during which my toilet seat got broken off my toilet, the entire floor of my apartment got licked, the dog peed twice in its kennel and as a result got bathed twice in my bathroom (hence the toilet seat), she nearly chewed up the ink pen I got in Guatemala, and hair and dander got EVERYWHERE, amongst other things too traumatic for me to remember. She left Tuesday morning, and I'm still cleaning.

I did get paid for the experience, in a manner of speaking. She left behind some useful things, such as a full-length mirror, some decent speakers, a fitted sheet, an electric adapter, an outlet extender, some soap, a hammer and nails, a wrench, two small dry-erase boards, and some shoes that I will shortly turn into cash if she doesn't want them.

There's a girl who works at the front desk at work. She's a temp, and kinda cute, and she likes to look at me and smile, so I like to look back at her and smile. It's a nice routine we got going. Today, I was so bold as to ask my boss if inter-office dating were ok. I would never ask such a thing if it were a fellow-teacher, but she works at the front desk, AND she's a temp, so I thought maybe. Well, the short answer is no, and the long answer is no, and she likes to look at all the guys and smile. That kinda took the wind out of my sails, but oh well. My boss did remind me she's a temp, and she might leave soon. Here's hoping.

A Real Update

Sorry, it's been very long since I've said anything of substance about my life here.  I have a lot to say, but I may not remember it all.  I'm also tired so I don't feel like writing it and then putting it in order, so I'm just going to write it as it comes to mind.  If it's a little scatterbrained, that's why.

First, another installment of Flatter the Teacher by Writing an Insane Story and Putting Him as the Main Character (same student as Flying Pig, and this one is supposed to be about earthquakes.  It's ok, but the ending makes it great, to me.):

Once upon a time, the big forest is state at middle of peaceful country.  In the forst, there are small ccloset with dark energy.  It's monster closet.  Allof monsters are sleep at there.  One day magician came and locked there closet's door.

Long time later, big earthquake hit the peaceful country.  Country's land is break everywhere.  It's terrible accident.  The small closet's door is open.  Ghosts and monsters are freed.  Magician notice it and go t othe big forest again.  Road is very difficult to pass, but his magical power is wonderful!  When he arrived, monsters are beat with him.  Magician locked them in big new closet and throw it to underground.  Earthquake crash earth's surface and monster closet is fell to thhere.  So we can't see monsters and ghosts today.

This story's reason is earthquake is best way to destroy monster house or bad teachers.

Again, nothing showing that he understood the story or anything.  

I went to the beach Saturday with the choir from my church.  When we think of going to the beach, we think of swimming, and lying out, and swimming some more.  Apparently, when Koreans think of going to the beach, they think of playing dozens of organized games.  There wasn't one minute of non-scheduled time.  Basically, we played church games.  I was on the winning team of one game and got a prize.  When I got home I opened it to discover that it was 4 tubes of toothpaste.  Oh yeah, Koreans are crazy about their teeth.  Recently Korea put out the 3-3-3 campaign.  It means brush your teeth 3 times a day, for 3 minutes, and within 3 minutes of eating.  4 tubes is a year's supply, so that's nice, no more buying toothpaste for me.  

I also met a really nice, really cute Korean girl who was going to college in Kansas but was home for the summer.  She also has a really nice boyfriend.  So anyway.  The reason I went to the beach with the church choir was that my friend Peter, whose family I do a language exchange with, is in the choir and he invited me.  The entire day lots of people were trying to recruit me for their different church activities, which I abviously was having nothing of.  Koreans are busy, and I don't know if that's because they like to be busy, or if they're just trained to be busy from childhood, but they tried to make me busy.  Also, ah-ja-mahs (older, married Koreans ladies who wear really big sunvisors and/or pollution masks) were sizing me up for their daughters.  I got on the bus and within 2 minutes one was already asking if I was married, how old I was, etc.

Peter's oldest daughter came, but his wife and youngest daughter didn't.  His wife has sharp pains in her lower neck/upper back, and it sounds like a problem with the discs in her spine.  His youngest daughter didn't want to go without mommy, so she stayed home, too.  As a result, I got to spend a lot of time with just Peter and his daughter, Diane, who's 13.  I don't know if it's just a Korean thing, but it seems she and I feel comfortable sitting right next to each other and not saying anything for a long time, and then talking for a long time.  It's kinda weird to call her a good friend, but I do think of her like that, and also a baby sister.  

Today I got my list of classes for next semester.  I don't teach any of the same classes at all, so it's all new students (with a few possible exceptions due to repeaters and kids changes days, etc).  One thing I'm pretty excited about is that I get to teach two mastery classes.  These are students whose English is basically fluent.  I taught the level just below them, last semester, and now I get to teach them.  It could be fun, but I hear that we, as teachers, have a lot of homework because of that class.  Also, last semester I had 26 hours but this semester I teach 28.  We're getting lots of new students, still, because this will only be the 3rd semester this campus has been in existence.  We just hired 2 new Korean teachers and one new foreign teacher, though there are rumors that one of our current Korean teachers will be leaving for health reasons.  

I have even more to post, but I'll just send this through and hope to write more later this week.

Yet Another Installment of Flatter my Teacher by Writing About Him

Same class as the Flying Pig story, different student.  The topic was "write a story about earthquakes."  This student got a little closer, I guess.

Once upon a time, there lived the mighty soldier Jason.  Jason loved to kill people, so he killed people as many as he could and ate them.  One day God came to him and said I'm going to tell you to stop eating people, but Jason didn't listen.  Then the god was angry and tried to make people new, because these people's were full of sin.First he sent an earthquake united states and distroied the buildings.  Next, he sent an earth quake to Japan, but this modified were not a 3 or 4 it was more than a 9 whitch is the best dangerous earthquake.  The damages were buildings were falling apart, and people dying.  However, suddently nice, friendly our here Super man came and flied to heaven and kill the god, so the earth was happy again.  Happy ending.

I'm beginning to worry about my class.

Teacher's Day Swag

After lunch at Outback, a foreign teacher mentioned having a competition to see who got the most gifts for Teacher's Day. A Korean teacher said that'd be a good idea, and then we realized that the Korean teachers would get the most because they're homeroom teachers and call the parents all the time. So, we decided that homeroom teachers couldn't compete. There wasn't much interest in having a competition, but it was an interesting idea, and after the first class I think everyone else gave up anyway.

By the end of the first class I already had two handfuls of stuff. My second class gave me so much swag that I had to carry it to my desk in two trips. Needless to say, I won. Here's a picture of all the swank junk I got. You can see two mugs, multiple boxes of cookies and chocolates, a loaf of sweet bread, some shampoo and conditioner, cappuccino (me and Grace got an 8-pack of them, but shared them with the other teachers), soaps, mentos, mints, cards, and carnations. Carnations are the traditional Teacher's Day gift, and I got real ones, fake ones, pens with Carnations on them, carnation candies, etc. Apparently I'm the best teacher in the world.

Also pictured are some police officers jumping rope, and a special drink served only in Seoul.

Teacher's Day

Today (Friday) is Teacher's Day here in Korea. Topia is taking us out to lunch to Outback Steakhouse (no rules, just right), and our students are probably going to give us presents. I've already gotten a few because I don't see all my students on Friday. One of my students got me and his other two teachers some decorative soaps. I was quite offended at him telling me I stink, so I took a poop in the box he gave me and sent it to his house. As a guy, I'm already using the "decorative" soaps. I've been told by the female teachers that I'm barbaric because of this. So it goes. Another student got me cookies, because I told everyone I wanted cookies. Well, she got an 'A' and everyone else failed. She also wrote me a note, and here it is transcribed:

To. Jason teacher...v
Hello? Jason teacher! I'm a Chelthy...
This week Friday (5/15) is mentor's day. So, I make the teacher's presnt.
I like you...because you is very funny and kind, smart. I like funny boy...because with there is I'm so happy. I like happy smile face. ke,ke ^^
I think you is very told, teacher...and handsome. My present is cookie and letter. Letter is this and cookie is very delicus. I like this cookie. You eat think cookie is good taste. Very thanks teacher.

From. chelthy v

First, I think v is a heart, I'm not sure. Second, her name is Chelsea but she spells it Chelthy because there is no 'th' sound in Korean, so to them it sounds like 'ls.' Third, ke,ke is their way of saying hehe, and ^^ are smiling eyes. Fourth, I think "very told" is supposed to be "very old," though I'm not sure. I tell all my students I'm 84 years old, and some of them believe me. Fifth, the cookies were indeed delicus, and I ate them all last night. Sixth, in Korean there is no such thing as capitalized letters or articles (the, a, an, etc), so some of the students don't use capital letters in names, and they sometimes put articles in front of their names, hence "I'm a Chelthy."

I hope you enjoyed another installment of Laugh-at-the-Korean-Children's-English.

P.S. Check out that forecast for Seoul for the next couple days. For those of you in the undeveloped world, 17C is in the 60s. That's right, it's May and in the 60s. People tell me it's going to be the hottest summer of my life here in Korea, and I just laugh at them. They clearly have no knowledge of the Charlestonian summer. This is a quote from the Mark Twain, and is about India, but I think Charleston can replace India.

In India, "cold weather" is merely a convenctional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.

Bukhan Mountain

This post is rather lengthy, sorry. I know not all of you have the time to sit down and read all of this at once, but I hope that doesn't keep you from reading. I began writing as a literati about halfway through, albeit a bad one because my writing is much out of practice, so I apologize if the voice seems very odd. Without too much further ado (do, haha, if you laugh you're weird like me), here's my account of Bukhansan.

Finally, I'm writing about Bukhansan (san means mountain) which I climbed a week ago. Like I said it was amazing. Four of us went, Peter, Karen, Sarah, and myself. Peter went because he's a health nut and wanted to get an exercise or something, and Karen came just for fun, even though she has really bad allergies. Sarah organized the whole thing and I went just so I could wear my Vibram Fivefingers shoes, haha. Nah, I went b/c I love that kind of stuff, and I wanted to get some good pictures. I did get a LOT of stares, and some people tried to tell me in English, "beautiful shoes." I think they loved them. I probably could've sold a pair or two if I had them on me.

Anyway, Sarah was the mastermind behind this, so she chose our destination. She wanted to go to the Bukhan Fortress, but we couldn't figure out where that was. We decided on going to Daedanmoon, or Extreme Gate. We figured that was close enough to a fortress, and of course it was the furthest hike from where we started: 4.7km, or just under 3mi, one way, up the hill, in snow, barefoot.

We started off and realized that we were still in Seoul, and not quite in nature yet. The trail was so crowded that, at times, we had to move off the path to let others go by. A friend told me that Bukhansan is the world's busiest national park, and I can believe it. There was also a small village about 10 minutes into our hike, with a restaurant, street vendor, and a couple of buildings way off the path that I took to be homes or something. I thought that would be a nice life, living on the mountain, right next to the river, and giving food to stupid tourists.

Eventually, the crowd thinned out to just 20-30 people in sight at any given time, rather than over 50. The trail also widened, and we could believe we were in nature...sorta. There were far too many trees and not enough vistas, so pictures were rarely taken. Instead of a nice outing, alone, with beautiful views, it became an oppressive hike with people elbowing past. There were, however, some nice things along the way. We investigated a Buddhist temple off the path, and there were simple statues with Korean script on them. People had piled rocks beside them and said a prayer for luck. A prayer to whom I do not know, but I assume the Buddha. We met one or two people who could speak English fairly well, and walked with them for a time.

Eventually, however, morale began to die as Peter wasn't getting the workout he wanted, and Karen's allergies were bad and she wasn't seeing the sights she wanted. Sarah and I were also disappointed, but were trying to make the best of it. Peter and Karen mentioned going back, and when Sarah and I said we wanted to go on but that they could back, they felt like they would offend us if they did, so they kept going with us.

Someone voiced the opinion that I had been taking too much time at every single place to stop and play in the water, or climbing every rock there was, or venturing off the path to look closer at certain things. So, I tried to hurry ahead when there was nothing to see, and explore when I had the time. I climbed up a rock and found a small Buddhist temple at the top that had some construction going on. A man was sitting under the roof, snacking on some gimbap. I wish I had a picture because it was so simple and pure, but pictures are not always worth a thousand words, while a memory is often worth a million. With my Vibrams I took every opportunity to splash in the mountain-cold water.

The kilometers crawled past, but the people became more scarce. We were no longer bothered by crowds coming down the mountain, we no longer had to move out of the way for others, and it was becoming more like nature. For a time, the four of us spread out and were walking generally alone.

It was in such a state, and with no other Korean in site, that I overtook the bend that afforded me the first view of Daedanmoon. My feet ached, my back ached, I had stubbed a toe on a rock, my shoulders ached from my pack. I nearly fell down with relief, but the trail did not end at the Gate. Off to either side of the gate, a wall ran. I had no idea what it was for, but my first thought was of the Great Wall, and perhaps it had at one time been a boundary against the north, though I doubt it because North and South Korea have only been split for 60 years. I waited for the others to catch me up, and while Karen and Peter absorbed the view of the valley below, Sarah and I explored the path along the wall. Off to the left and beyond the hill we could see down into Seoul, expanding into the mists of pollution, much like seeing Hong Kong from Victoria Peak.

After seeing to the left, Peter and Karen said they were leaving, so Sarah and I decided to go down with them, leaving the wall to the right unexplored. It called to me, however, and within a minute of leaving the Gate I said I'm going back. Sarah immediately followed, and our group split. We said we'd hurry and tried to catch them up on the way down. I'm glad we decided to explore more, because the view from there was among the best I've ever seen, and made the trip worth it and more.

The trail to the right was far more difficult, and at times you had to pull yourself up using a rope. Finally, we crested a large boulder, and the descent on the far side was too steep for Sarah. She decided to stay and enjoy the view from there while I treaded on. Down the boulder and up another hill, I was confronted by a sheer rock face. I had seen others beyond it, so I knew it could be scaled, so I went about climbing. I want to say it was 25 feet high, but more likely it was 15 and my adrenaline made it grow. I was very thankful for my Vibrams at that point, allowing me to catch toe holds that would've been much more difficult in tennis shoes, and especially in hiking boots.

When I got to the top, there was an older Korean couple there to greet me. They were pouring over a map, and as it was after 5pm I assumed they were taking a rest before treading on to a camp site that night. I wanted to go with, but that boulder I sat upon was the end of my trail. The video I took in the web album is from this vantage point. Go here to check out all the photos and the video: <http://picasaweb.google.com/jmphry/bukhansan#>.

On my descent, I was faced again with that rock wall. Climbing down is infinitely harder than up, and I had no idea how I was going to get down. I almost started when I heard a Korean man's voice say, "Let's go this way." It was the man from the boulder, and he might have saved my life. He led me around and down to a rope, where I could repel down the side. So, as it turns out, that's how everyone else got up there! I didn't have to do any rock-climbing or nothing. It was much longer, but much safer, and I was grateful for the help.

At the bottom of the rope the mountain got very steep for a short way, and we had to skip and slide down. I was catching myself on trees using my hands, when one branch stump caught my left middle finger and left a gash over 1cm long. Blood immediately covered my finger, and I had to take the bandana I bought at the bottom of the mountain from off my head and wrap my finger. Blood soaked through the bandana, but there was nothing for it but to trudge on.

I met back up with Sarah, showed her some of the photos, and we started down. It was past 5pm and the sun was setting behind the mountain, so I knew we were racing the horizon as well as the peak. We wanted to catch up to Karen and Peter, but we had spent too much time sightseeing, and we were both very tired. Sarah was so tired she began scooting her feet along the ground, and tripped more than once. I made her slow down, fearing a twist or sprang and me schlepping her 3km down the hill. Nearly halfway down it started to sprinkle, which I welcomed, but Sarah broke out an umbrella. Silly girl! Oh well, to each his own.

Of course it took less time to go down than up, and we beat the sun, but near the bottom things stopped looking familiar. We got to an enormous rock slab that was sitting at quite an angle. To cross it was very difficult, and neither of us remembered it from the ascent. We turned back, and tried to find the path we had treaded up. After 20 minutes of circles and back-tracking, and trying to call Peter and Karen, we ran into some Aussies. We chatted with them and followed them to the trail. They were good guys, brothers actually, and we were thankful for their help as well as their company because by that time nearly everyone was off the mountain and we were entertaining thoughts of being lost on the mountain for the night.

We were off the mountain and at the bus stop just after sundown. Now we had nearly 2 hours of buses and subways back home before we could shower and nurse our wounds. My pack was merely the same backpack I've had since 8th grade, no hiking pack in the least, and when I removed it I discovered that tennis-ball-sized knots had developed in my shoulders and they were barely mobile if left unmoved for more than a minute or two. The shower I took that night was one of the best of my life. It took nearly 5 days for the aches and pains to disappear, but now I'm recoved and I want to tackle another trail. Perhaps the highest peak is in order now, hopefully it will afford more photos.

Flying Pig

Long long time ago, one tallest boy named Jason was lived. His height is 1310 meters. His so happy because he can stump small villages and people one day, he think, 'I want see what creatures are live at sky'. So, he put mountain upon another. Next, he jumped and arrived sky.

First, he saw pink creatures. It have wings and they are singing like bird. They are singing flying pigs. Their sing is like this, "Flying pig, Flying big, we are the ham, Flying pig, Flying pig, we are the ham."

Second, he saw white creatures. It have furry hair and they are jumping like rabbit. They are singing jumping lambs. Their sang is "Jumping jumping, jumping lamb, crazy, pinky, browny Lolipop...la la lar lar la." Jason think it's great song. When he got lots of years, he become a teacher

Jason teacher is jumping and flying at classroom and singing, "Flying pig, Flying pig. We are the ham." So, students face going to be dark. Next day, we can't find the tallest teacher Jason.

This is a story a student of mine wrote. The assignment was to write a creative essay about tornadoes, and this is what he gave me. I guess he didn't hear what I said, or hoped to flatter me enough that I'd give him an A. Well, the child got an A.

I went mountain climbing on Tuesday, I'll post about that in the next day or so. It was amazing and I've got some amazing pictures.

Let's get accosted every day!

So that girl who was a discipline problem last week brought me a coffee today! Well, of course her mother bought it, but it was pretty nice. It makes me depressed as hell, though, because it was a cheap coffee (stop laughing and lemme finish). Other parents have brought in 2 dozen Dunkin Donuts, other parents will bring in a few pizzas, some bring in boxes of chocolates, for no reason. And, when a student misbehaves the parents usually buy the teacher something of that caliber, but this child only brought in a coffee. The mom was very worried that I would hate her child, think she was bad, etc etc, so it was clear that the mother was upset, and should've sent something pretty nice, but I get the feeling that they maybe don't have enough money to buy something nicer. And that, my friend, is why it depresses me. I didn't care about the coffee, they could've kept that for all I cared. Oh well, I'm probably looking into this too much and the mother just didn't know what to buy a male teacher. But it still depresses me.

Tomorrow is Children's Day! I may be doing something with some friends, or I may just sleep all day, either one is fine with me. I mentioned last post that lots of students' public schools are closed Fri-Tues, and one class said none of them would be here today. Well, they all showed up, little bastards. I told them not to come, but oh well. I'm even two days ahead in that class somehow, so we could've missed today and it wouldn't have even matter. I love having tomorrow off, but Tuesdays are my easiest days so it would've been even nicer to have a MWF off, but oh well, any day is nice. There are 10 national holidays in the Korean calendar, and we get all of them off. However, this year, 8 of them fall on a weekend, so we only get 2 days off all year! Kinda sucks, but I still get my 10 vaca days. When you come visit me, as I know every single one of you are, give me a long heads up so I can get the days off.

*Tear

Last night I had my first good beer since I've been here. I went into Seoul with some friends and went to a bar called Freebird, haha. They had Hoegaarden and Guinness, and I nearly wept. I tried a beer I had never heard of, brewed in New York. It was called Honey Brown Ale or something like that. I reminded me of a mixture of Sam Adam's Brown Ale and Honey Ale. It had the sweetness of the Honey, and fullness of the Brown, and not much bitterness. Really good beer, I suggest it if ever you see it. Buses and subways stop running at 11pm, so we had to stay out until 5.30 when they start running again. We could've taken a taxi, but they're crazy expensive.

Tuesday is Children's Day. It's a national holiday and everyone is off work and school. Actually, lots of kids get Friday and Monday off, as well, for a 5-day weekend. Koreans work all the time, so this is a time for parents to spend with their kids. It translates to no work Tuesday! Yay! I always thought I enjoyed days off as a student, but I love them ten times more as a teacher. Some of my friends have Monday off as well so they went to Tokyo for their long weekend. I think I'm just going to sleep, haha.

I'm getting really fast at reading Korean, I'd say I read Korean as fast as my 13-year-olds who are above average read English. I still don't know how to formulate a sentence, but I intend to learn that this week. Korean has subject markers, so word order doesn't necessarily matter, though from what I can tell most things are in "normal" word order anyway. All I need to know is the basic verbs, some nouns, and subject/object/topic markers and I think I'll be able to make basic sentences. I already know some phrases, but I'm really excited about being able to make up my own sentences on the fly.

I got my gas bill and it, too, went up. I think it increased about 25%, or $1, so I need to start conserving more. Everything here is really well-priced, or downright cheap, except housing, and Topia pays that for me. I wish you guys were all over here b/c then I'd probably never leave.